Nurture wins?

March 28, 2006 at 5:09 am (Uncategorized)

Due to a relapse of whatever illness I had two weeks ago, my weekend revolved around watching three movies. The second was an old favorite and the perfect remedy for a lingering winter. Baseball at its purest, its most fun, its most inspiring.

The third was no more age appropriate, but it did involve gratuitous shots of gleaming shirtless men (who, later internet searches proved, are actually older than I). A friend and I hunkered down amongst the 12-year-old girls and watched Amanda Bynes (who I just can’t hate despite my best efforts) befriend and then woo a boy with the most delicious freckles across his shoulders. Eye and brain candy all in one movie. Sugar shock certainly followed, but it still tasted good going down.

Really though, the weekend was about the first one. I just can’t stop talking about it. If all of our past experiences were to be wiped out in a moment, who would we be? If I could selectively remove the painful memories (yes, I’ve seen that movie), would I be more open? Kinder? More willing to take a chance? If I removed them all, would I still measure success the same way? Would my goals change? Would my personality? My interests? Would I find that I no longer care to spend time with the friends I’ve known for more than 20 years? Would I realize that our friendship was based purely on shared memories and no true compatibility? Perhaps most importantly, if I can realize that my experiences have so completely shaped my reactions to and interpretations of my world, why can’t I choose to react differently? Does it just take a stronger mind than mine to stop associating all football players with the moronic tight end I briefly dated in high school despite his wandering hands and painfully lacking conversation skills? Or to stop thinking that all evangelical Christians want to make me feel as hated and uncomfortable as the very un-Christian pricks at that sleepaway camp? Should I be able to use this knowledge to stop internalizing the insults and brushing off the compliments? Am I really just the sum of my memories…or just too weak to overcome them?

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3 Comments

  1. fabulous girl said,

    Heard about Unknown White Male? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436864/) There was a great article in the NYT …

  2. fabulous girl said,

    Heard about Unknown White Male? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436864/) There was a great article in the NYT …

  3. BS said,

    That’s the movie! Have you seen it?

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