Alone at last

September 13, 2006 at 6:40 am (Uncategorized)

I’m an only child, but most people are surprised to hear it. I grew up sharing toys, sharing vacations, sharing the spotlight in whatever production (water ballet or otherwise) we’d choreographed. As a housemate, I hold my own. I can share things just fine. But space? I don’t share space. I sleep corner to corner across a queen-sized bed. I require an entire closet, if not two. And I have to have alone time. Friends who know me well give me the minutes I need to myself. They graciously don’t take it personally as I walk away mumbling about getting some air, or taking a moment.

Living alone is heaven. Even if it weren’t a spacious 2 1/2 bedroom 2 bathroom house with a flourishing garden and a newly remodeled kitchen, I would be relishing my personal space. Space to pursue “secret single behavior.” Space to workout to the New York City Ballet workout tape I’ve had for years. Space to eat ice cream from the container after said workout. Space to change my shirt in the living room and shower with the door open. Space to try on clothes to go with my new top…for an hour. Space to leave dishes in the sink overnight, or scrub the entire kitchen, depending on my mood. Space to spend 45 minutes on my eyebrows or walk around in a clay face mask.

I think it’s important for a woman to live alone before she settles down and marries. Or, rather, I think it’s important to me to live alone before I settle down. But I worry that I’m getting too good at it. I’ve had exactly one boyfriend with whom I could sleep comfortably (and that may have been largely due to his extra-large air conditioner and the amount of alcohol we’d consume before bed). I no longer sleep when I share a bed with a friend. As much as I adored my Boston roommate, I would plan hours of activities for the nights she spent up north with her little friend. I like making a meal of bread, cheese and an apple without anyone reminding me it’s not a real meal. And I like doing grand jetés in my living room, or entrechats in my bedroom, or arabesques in the kitchen without having to be embarrassed that the urge slipped out. How do all you twosomes do it? Forget a nice car and private colleges for my kids, I want my future husband and I to have enough money for our own bathrooms and separate offices.

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4 Comments

  1. winnekat said,

    I hear you about needing space. I went camping this past weekend and by the second day I really wanted to sit in the grass by myself and read – at first I felt guilty, but then I realized that was stupid.

    As for how to live with someone comfortably, I can’t tell you much except that if the other person consistently works 14-hour days, you get TONS of alone time.

  2. NH said,

    I made it a requirement of mine to find someone I could act like a total goof ball in front of… and who would be ok with making a fool of himself in front of me.

  3. Anonymous said,

    I agree that you were a great roommate. I’m not sure I agree with the only child part. 🙂

    Miss you, roomy!

    Nate

  4. Photo Post « Busty Satan said,

    […] birthday (oh! to be 26 again!). It precedes about 10 weddings. It precedes my few months of living alone, the Ex-ALM, my life in California, the miracle that is LASIK, and (by more than 9 months, in case […]

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