Here I Go Again On My Own

April 1, 2009 at 3:30 pm (in my head, It's all about me)

I went to a bar alone last night. I wasn’t depressed or confused or desperate for a drink, but I wasn’t intentionally challenging myself either. Sure, I’ve spent time in an airport bar alone, or a hotel bar, or higher end places where I can sip on a little Basil Hayden, but a crowded pub full of beer drinkers? Never.

It was an accident, really. I was meeting people for one last trivia night (my contributions: Tiffany, green, and Sam Kinison) before a friend moves back to his homeland (*sniff*) and everyone was late. I got a beer, grabbed a high table, and sat watching a pre-season baseball game.

I’m an independent woman and I firmly believe that everyone should live alone at some point in their life. I’ve gone to dinner alone and I used to go to the ballet alone pretty regularly, but sitting there sipping my Blue Moon, watching groups of boys watch me, I realized that there are things I’m still afraid to do by myself. I’ve never gone on vacation alone or gone to a movie by myself. I’ve never gone to a social function that didn’t have some pretext (lecture, screening, performance) without bringing a friend or to a party where I only knew the host (who would be busy hosting). For a lot of reasons that I can’t articulate, I feel like this is my year to challenge myself. This is my year to try the things that make me a little nervous. This is my year to be confident enough to go to a bar alone.

What have you never done alone?

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6 Comments

  1. 3carnations said,

    I’ve never gone out to eat alone.

  2. SoMi's Nilsa said,

    I like the idea of pushing yourself to places where you might not initially feel comfortable. I have never traveled overseas alone.

  3. Katie said,

    I feel like I do many things alone–shopping, taking a day-trip, going to the gym, running in several foot-races, going to church, driving across 7 states…but I’ve never gone to a sit-down dinner alone, gone to the movies alone, OR gone to a bar/party where I didn’t know anyone alone.

    I also feel like I need to try these things, but I guess I have trouble getting past the everyone looking at me and feeling sorry for me because I’m alone thing.

    I also worry about getting hit on by creepy old men, because there is a 100% chance of that happening where I live, especially if I’m by myself.

  4. amber said,

    Sadly, I spent a lot of my youth eating alone because the other kids were convinced of my “cooties” in grade school and in high school that reputation decided to stick.

    I’ve never gone on vacation alone. But at the end of this year, I’m planning to go to Greece. Santorini, specifically. By myself. I’m terrified and exhilerated all at the same time. When I told my sister she said, “Wait, and I’ll go WITH you.” And I had to explain that no, this was something I needed to do to prove I could do it.

  5. xALM said,

    I’ve traveled overseas by myself twice.

    But I wouldn’t even consider for a moment going to a movie alone. Would feel too uncomfortable.

    Weird.

  6. Bridget said,

    How did I miss this?

    I agree. We really are having the same kind of year. I challenge you to go to a movie alone – I sometimes prefer it. That way, no one will judge me on how much popcorn I eat or ask me “Who is that guy and which movie did I see him in?” while I’m trying to focus.

    It’s fun. 🙂

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