If it kills me

July 16, 2009 at 3:01 pm (past)

There is nothing I don’t like about this.

I watched last night and remembered how it felt. Not the dancing, but the thrilling, magnetic, sheer terror of falling for a friend. Of an email that simply said, “I know we’re always joking, but sometimes I’m half-serious.” Of a date with my hair still wet from a post-dance class shower. Of a first kiss in a field for which I was more nervous than any before or since. Of feeling like it was a precious secret I couldn’t or wouldn’t yet share. Of taking someone’s hand to leap boldly over that line into something else entirely.



  1. nvr2old2dream said,

    Thank you for that post. It was amazing and so often you say exactly what I’m thinking. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts for over a year now and just want to say – “Please keep up the fantastic work”.


    • BS said,

      Thank you! Comments like these make me a little less scared to spill my guts to strangers.

  2. accidentallygraceful said,

    Yeah. I watched that dance this morning several times, since my DVR refused to capture it last night. The dancing was so intense, more so when you realize what the subject matter is.

    I think almost everyone has had that friend they’ve fallen for. I think I loved it when she pushed him away and was like, “No, we can’t do this.” It just brought me back to several years ago, when I had my own friendship crossing lines.

    • BS said,

      She pushes him away and pushes him away until she can’t take it and pulls him down on top of herself. Seems about right.

  3. Katie said,

    Gah. I can’t get to the video anymore (youtube took it down) and you post really made me want to see it!

  4. Karen said,

    I don’t know what the video was about, but I certainly loved your words. I know that feeling very well.

    • BS said,

      I think I prefer it to the pure excitement of meeting someone new. Probably why I’m still single.

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