Age Ain’t Nothin’ But a Number

August 18, 2009 at 12:05 pm (in my head, It's all about me)

A horrible ache has taken up residence in my lower back. Last night, half-way through three hours of dance class, I thought I might be sick from the pain.

When you’re as active as I am (and particularly when a lot of that activity is dance), you get to know your body well. You know where you’re strong (ass, quads, calves, shoulders) and weak (biceps, biceps, biceps), where you’re flexible (hamstrings, back) and stiff (hip flexors, shoulders, hips), and what will be the first thing to hurt (how I try to love you, IT band, but you NEVER love me back). But you also expect that pain is temporary. And dance often being the brutal sport that it is, you usually push through.  And yet I’ve never quite felt this…old. There just isn’t a better way to say it. In this moment, however temporary it may be, I feel old and broken.

I’m certainly not too old for dance class (there are women in there who have 20 years on me), but I may be too old to push through the pain as I did last night and not expect consequences.

It got me thinking…what else am I too old to do?

I am too old…

to date someone who never sleeps over.

to think that anyone else is responsible for my happiness.

to spend more than one night sleeping on a floor.

to assume that anyone thinks the way I do on any given subject.

to feel guilt or shame about wanting to spend Saturday night at home.

to say “Daddy” or “Mommy” with a straight face.

to be out dancing on tables until 4 am on a Tuesday.

to backpack through Europe and/or stay in hostels.

to be seen outside my apartment in pajamas.

to beat around the bush.

to stay quiet when an elder is being offensive.

to give out a fake phone number if I’m not interested.

I will never be too old…

to dance in the elevator.

to ask for an extra cherry on my sundae.

to make out for hours.

to uproot my life and move to another country.

to drink a little too much and laugh a little too loud.

to sing Christmas carols.

to sleep in until noon.

to have a crush on Jake Ryan.

to go skinny-dipping.

to say “Thank you” or “I love you” to my parents.

to think my best days are ahead of me.

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6 Comments

  1. Bridget said,

    The being too old to backpack through Europe hurt a little because, naturally, I apply the list to myself as well as you. However, what you included in your “Never too old..” list made it all better.

    Hope your back feels better! OUCH.

    • BS said,

      No need to apply this to yourself! I’m sure there are plenty of people who would say I’m too old to be dancing around in public places (like museums, bowling alleys, and really anywhere with a flat, smooth floor), but I do it anyway!

  2. accidentallygraceful said,

    I love this list. And funnily enough, I was actually thinking of this on my drive home. May borrow it!

  3. Katie said,

    Good list. I’m too old to even sleep on the floor for one night.

    • BS said,

      Ha! And I think you’re younger than I!

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