Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas…

December 16, 2009 at 1:38 am (plays well with others, present)

but don’t expect a card from me.

I have wonderful, loving friends with lovely husbands and beautiful children and I ADORE receiving holiday cards (celebrating whichever holiday you celebrate – I will not be offended if your card says “Merry Christmas” so long as you’re equally nonplussed by those saying something else). I even have a ribbon already hung to which I’ll paperclip cards as they come in. But I understand full well that I am not to send cards in return.

See that’s the thing about being single. Unless you recently climbed Everest (or the Matterhorn as my friends – who don’t count because they’re married – did), then no one really wants to receive your card. You don’t have children to show off or a shiny new spouse to display, or really anything that interests the marrieds and the parents in your circle of friends and family. My most important acquisition this year was a car, but somehow it doesn’t seem right to put that on a photo card. Likewise a photo of me in my new apartment. Or a photo of me in that black silk dress I bought myself for my birthday. Or a photo of me on a trip. Or a photo of just me, period. I’d send one of a pet…if I had a pet.

And yet I’d LIKE to wish my friends all the best for the coming year. Do I handwrite cards knowing they’ll be thrown away in two weeks because they don’t include a photo?

I realize that I sound bitter and cranky, but I’m really not bitter. Instead, I’ve taken to replying to address requests with the same line: “I won’t be sending cards this year as I understand it’s not appropriate for single people, but know that I wish you the happiest of holidays.” So far, it has seemed to do the trick.

What about you? Did you/do you send holiday cards as a single person?



  1. amber said,

    I’ve always sent cards as a single person (having ALWAYS been single, cripes) and never thought twice about it. Until now. 🙂 I think people enjoy getting cards no matter the romantic status of the sender, and if not well then they can throw my card away because I buy the cheap boxed sets at Walmart anyway.

    • BS said,

      I have too, I just realized that this year I don’t have a single single friend who sends cards. And also? um, I was in an awfully shitty mood last night, if that wasn’t obvious.

  2. Jess said,

    Um, I love getting cards from my single friends. Seriously. I can understand feeling awkward about sending a photo card, but why not just a regular greeting card?

    • BS said,

      I don’t think my married or nearly married friends would be excited to receive a card since I don’t have any “accomplishments” to tout this year.

  3. SoMi's Nilsa said,

    1) I haven’t ever sent holiday cards. Not when I was single. Not when I was dating. Not when I was dating and we got a dog. Not when I got engaged. Not when I got married.
    2) I have friends who sent holiday cards with photos when they were single, dating, dating with a dog, married and married with children.
    3) I also have friends who send holiday cards without photos and a handwritten note instead.
    4) I love receiving cards from friends and loved ones, no matter what the contents.
    5) No matter what kind of card it is, I recycle all of them just after the new year.

    What I’m saying is, each person walks to the beat of a different drummer. If you want to send cards, you should. Don’t let singledom exclude you.

    • BS said,

      Your #1 had the cadence of a Dr. Seuss book. I liked it.

      Singledom excludes me all the time (though particularly this time of year). It’s not like my married friends plan group outings with two other married couples and me. But I guess if I really really wanted to send cards, I would, singleness be damned.

  4. Bridget said,

    I am too lazy. Period. End of story. And for that, I apologize to all of my friends who send them.

    Maybe someday, when I am feeling Suzy Homemakerish, single or not, I will. But for now, I am exhausted by the holidays.

    And I second Nilsa – I love getting cards. Which tells me I should send them more often.

    • BS said,

      I love getting cards too, but can you imagine if I sent you a photo of just me in a santa hat smiling with “Happy Holidays from BS” in the caption box?

  5. Fabulous Girl said,

    I have sent cards every year since 1996, in various stages of a committed relationship, and then single, and sent them again this year in my current committed relationship (is this the right moment to ask you for your new address?). I send cards because I like buying and mailing fun cards to my friends, regardless of what my year’s been like. I don’t include photos or long updates, just a happy wish for a happy holiday season and a peaceful and healthy new year. Definitely don’t do it if you don’t want to, because then you’ll just have spent money on cards that are just going to gather dust.

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