I went to a bar alone tonight…

January 13, 2010 at 12:16 am (in my head, On dating and mating, plays well with others, present)

and had the time of my life.

OK, well, maybe not the time of my life (that was a Friday in 2004…or a Saturday in 2000…or I’m making this shit up), and maybe it was a restaurant with a bar, and maybe it wasn’t totally my first time (though similar forays in my hometown where alone really means, “Oh, but I’ll know someone there,” don’t count), but it was a grand ol’ time and it was the first time when alone was intentional and it was the first time in my city that is truly a City. So yeah, IT. WAS. GRAND.

I walked in from work (and a Target run), dropped off my things, and turned right around before I lost my nerve. I figured that if I wanted to meet single, available, local men (who aren’t 25), then I should put myself in their way. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared. As it turned out, I should have been anything but afraid.

I met an Australian winemaker and a distributer of Australian wines. (They were not the same person.) I explored wine/art parallels while eating half a burger. (A really GOOD burger.) I chatted with two tech geeks who talked (and looked) like bartenders and waxed nostalgic about fried chicken, which I hate. I read. (A little.) I found the driest cucumber martini in town. I found my new favorite drink (said cucumber martini softened with simple syrup and lemon juice) and my go-to Tuesday night bar. I found a new winery with grapes from my favorite district. I found AMY, bartender extraordinaire, who, I swear, spent the evening reading my mind. This is what bartenders do (and why I went through a phase of crushing on/dating/making out with the boy version). Amy knew just how far to take the “21st digit” banter with the Australian winemaker. She knew how to ignore the tech geeks to make them feel at home. She knew how to read my body language when I was uncomfortable, or nervous, or in need of another drink. In short, I will be visiting her again. Soon.

In short, I will be going to a bar alone again. Soon.

When (and how) was the last time you challenged yourself?



  1. SoMi's Nilsa said,

    I give you huge props for doing that. In my single days, I never had the gumption to go to a bar alone. Or to a movie alone, for that matter. But, I don’t go to the movies all that often, so it was less a fear thing and more a proximity/schedule thing. =)

    • BS said,

      Thanks! I was initially planning to attempt a movie alone – on a Saturday night! – but I napped past 8:30 and went with a bar on a Tuesday instead.

  2. heisschic said,

    I’m not sure I’ve ever gone to a bar with the intention of not knowing anyone there… Might have to try this one out. Yup.

    Going to the movie alone (with a flask in tow) is one of my favorite Saturday early afternoon activities. Give me a chick flick, a crown and diet, then time for a nap before going out- and I’m a happyhappy girl.

    • BS said,

      Try it! (And report back, please.)

      I’ve yet to try the movie alone, but I’ll have to! Especially since it seems everyone I know has already seen Avatar in 3D.

  3. Jess said,

    It sounds like fun! I would say the last big challenge was the lap-band surgery. Or possibly the mandatory three-day liquid diet that preceded it.

    • BS said,

      Ooh yeah, that liquid diet sounded brutal! (Truth be told, I could barely read those posts because they made me so hungry!) And yet you made it and are now a wonderfully reasoned voice of experience for others contemplating the surgery.

  4. WendyB said,

    I guess if I met you there, you wouldn’t be alone, eh? Darn!

    • BS said,

      Well no, I wouldn’t be alone, but I’d be entertained, I’m sure! Of course I would expect you to give me advanced notice of that sort of thing so I could plan in advance to wear my WendyB-worthy red lipstick.

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