January 14, 2010 at 5:51 pm (in my head, On dating and mating, plays well with others, shopping)

1) Haiti
The earthquake in Haiti (if you’re looking to give, the New York Times has a nice list of options) and other recent events has me feeling particularly patriotic* (even though I was the only one of a group of friends – besides the newly-minted American citizen – who could correctly answer any of the questions on the citizenship exam).

It also has me thinking that I live in San Francisco and really should get around to putting together my earthquake kits. And in case you’re wondering, no, I’m not terrified that The Big One will hit and my city will be flattened. Give me the possibility of an earthquake in a city used to dealing with seismic activity that has the building codes to match ANY day over snow and sleet and black ice beneath my car. Or hurricanes. Or tornadoes. I’ve been in one hurricane that raged during a rehearsal dinner and I only made it through because there was wine. I think if I ever heard a tornado warning, I’d pee myself. But earthquake? Meh.

2) Shopping
Occasionally, as when I practically wrote a multi-part novel in response to Nilsa’s post, I am reminded that I was probably a personal shopper in another life. A co-worker happened to mention that she couldn’t find pointy-toe flats. The next morning she received an email of suggestions (with links) including notes on which ones would address specific concerns and where she could find them on sale. I’ve held back so far from posting about shopping (yes, this was holding back), but no more. I’ll be sprinkling in posts on things I love and things I’m trying to find and things I’m trying desperately to replace (I’m looking at you dear, poor, ancient Isaac Mizrahi black snakeskin pumps!).

3) Anonymity
I’m thinking of revealing my face and my first name. What thinkest thee?

4) Marriage
If you missed Oprah’s show about marriage around the world, then you missed the memo that we should all move to Denmark. You also missed Elizabeth Gilbert saying that men and women want to be married, but no one wants to be the wife. And that sentiment is pretty close to one I keep coming back to: marriage has changed because women have changed. I certainly don’t mean to sound all Maureen Dowd (I have a long, wonderful list of why men are necessary and would begin with that one-handed t-shirt removal thing that is so very yummy), but it’s undeniable that shifting gender roles have affected our expectations of marriage.

In Colorado, San Francisco, Portland, and my hometown I talked with different women of different ages about the same thing. We no longer depend on men financially. We no longer depend on them for physical protection. We (generally) don’t ignore or deny our sexual selves. We don’t feel bound by society or religion to remain in marriages where we’re unhappy at best or abused at worst. In short, the only reason to marry is for love. And that is, in a way, both liberating and terrifying.

P.S. I want to recommend this book to everyone I know and can only really do it here lest I make any friend or couple think I’m singling him/her/them out.

*In this case, I’m all for US nation-building abroad.



  1. Jess said,

    Yes please! Name and photo! It’s nice to put a face to a name… or in this case, a face AND a name to a blog moniker.

    • BS said,

      It’ll require editing the archives, so give me the weekend. But now I can get hair and makeup opinions going forward!

  2. WendyB said,


  3. SoMi's Nilsa said,

    I’m pretty sure I look forward to all your future, all out posts on shopping! Oh and please do reveal your name and face!

    • BS said,

      Just in time for wedding dress (as in a dress to wear TO a wedding) shopping!

  4. amber said,

    I think you SHOULD show us who you really are! I never gave a lot of thought to disguising myself though. I’ve posted pictures and given my name and been all TMI the whole time I’ve had my blog(s). So. Go for it!

    Also, who doesn’t love posts about shopping? Personally, I love knowing where to get great shoes or jewelry. 🙂

    • BS said,

      I don’t know that I can be quite as open if I reveal myself, but I’ve made peace with that. Check back on Monday for a proper introduction to the woman behind the BS.

  5. Jess said,

    I’m still debating the anon thing. I go back and forth on that as always. Um…also. Pick up Liz Tuccillo’s “How to Be Single.” It’s a really interesting exploration on what it means to be single, culturally, geographically, and what it means for love. It’s sort of an essay disguised as a novel. But it’s really sort of fascinating.

    And shopping is always adored. Come on now. I’m salivating over the new mini skirts that they’ve been putting up in the store windows.

    • BS said,

      I’ll look into that book, thanks!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: