All boys, all the time

February 17, 2010 at 2:39 pm (if I ruled the world, It's all about me, On dating and mating)

I am a terrible, rotten blogger lately and should be taken out and whipped with Red Vines. This one isn’t going to get any better, so if you’re expecting me to be coherent and not write in snippets, get ready for disappointment.

While waiting for a date last night (yes, he was late and no, we were not amused), a man approached me with Mardi Gras beads.

“You deserve some beads for rocking that coat,” he said, then put a strand around my neck and kissed my cheek.

Never underestimate the power of a good trench.


I have realized that whatever you’re feeling, Frank Sinatra sings it. Frank and I have been hanging out a lot lately. Mom could not be more pleased.


I’ve heard “More Than Words” on the radio four or five times in the last three days. My radio superstition tells me that this means the Head Injury* is either thinking of me or lying in a ditch somewhere. I can’t decide which to hope for.


The Valentine’s Day girls’ gathering included a little burning party. In Dancing Roommate’s backyard fire pit, we torched little paper hearts on which we’d written both the good and the bad, the baggage and the wishes, the loves and the hates…you get the idea. I’m not sure I believe that the Universe listens or rewards such offerings, but I believe in doing things with intention, so I burned the shit out of some people things. But towards the end of the writing process I was stumped. I turned to C for help. A moment later she handed me a heart:

Success with The Southerner

Keep in mind that C could well have meant a roll in the hay–I’m sure she’d define success that broadly, she’s an open minded woman–but she’s also the only one of any of my friends to have talked with him on the night we met. And she knows me, well, better than I know me. I just looked at her with a smile slowly spreading across my face.

And then I burned that heart last.

*The association comes more from my trademark sass than anything relating to the lyrics of the song.



  1. Chad Stone said,

    I loved this post. Very real. It’s nice to look inside the head of a smart female to get a glimpse at what is going on. For another interesting perspective (from a male point of view), check out the blog at It proves that some things in dating never change– no matter what age you are.

    • BS said,

      Thanks. I have friends dating in their 20s, 30s, and 50s. I’m sure many things in dating never change, period.

  2. Katie said,

    Billie Holiday has been my BFF lately. I should start listening to some Sinatra too.

    • BS said,

      Frank and Ella Fitzgerald and I might have a threesome. I’d do it.

  3. Bridget said,

    I need to have a burn party.

    And Frank Sinatra? You can’t go wrong.

  4. Amanda said,

    “And then I burned that heart last.”

    Poignant. I love it – and the heart-burning ceremony.

    I did a “shredding ceremony” last year – wrote the misdoings of a lost love on paper, and then shredded the hell out of it. It seems like just an act, but it was cathartic in a way I hadn’t anticipated.

    • BS said,

      It seems like just an act, but it was cathartic in a way I hadn’t anticipated.

      Exactly what I found! I think I need an action to change my thoughts. It might just be how I work.

  5. k8 said,

    I like to burn things and blow shit up. It always makes me feel better.

  6. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said,

    I always noticed that when you’re feeling good about yourself, people notice. And sometimes hand you beads. =)

    And I’m a believer than when you’ve got something on your mind, it’s important to release it somehow. Whether it’s addressing the person directly, dancing it out of your system or writing it on a piece of paper to be torched … any tactic will do.

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