Bits and Pieces (and slideshow roulette)

July 1, 2010 at 4:37 pm (It's all about me, plays well with others)

I am trying to return to blogging, but it is a process. I could go on with some pathetic preamble of excuses, or I could just get to the juicy stuff. I vote the latter, and really, mine is the only vote that counts.

1) All of the Father’s Day posts on HGRB made me misty. (Yes, I know Father’s Day was two weeks ago, but this is how behind I am on my blog reading.) Does this mean that someone has turned on my biological clock? Maybe, but I’d still rather have a dog.

2) I went to a wedding in Seattle with a beer and chocolate ceremony–beer to symbolize the bitter times every life and marriage experiences and chocolate to symbolize the sweet times. It was brilliant and I’m totally stealing the idea should I ever pledge my life to another human being in front of witnesses. Actually, the whole wedding was awesome. It was #4 of six (this year) in case anyone is keeping track.

3) If you’re not watching Alex Wong on this season of So You Think You Can Dance, you’re missing out on some of the best dancing on television in years. Also? he’s a big goofball and I want to make him my BFF. (And while I work on that, could someone please work on a device that would let me siphon off his talent once I managed to get close enough?)

And now for a cautionary tale… Before you all even think it, this is not a situation where I’m talking about “my friend” when I’m really talking about myself. Believe me when I tell you that I don’t do that kind of thing (by which I mean foist my embarrassing story off on someone else: see post where I talk about going commando to Target) and that I don’t do that kind of thing (by which I mean the thing I will discuss in the story below), and that I would never ever EVER tell this story to another living soul if I had done this kind of thing and been caught. Got it? Good.

There were three of us on Sunday morning: my friend Beth recovering from two beers, three mojitos, three French 75s, and a couple glasses of wine; Beth’s new friend Joe who crashed the wedding dressed like Ron Burgundy; and me. We were staying at the home of a couple (mutual friends of Beth and Joe) who were in Boston for the weekend. This kind couple had left us clean sheets, a key, and their laptop set up on the kitchen table. As we sat chatting around the table, their laptop switched over to the screensaver. Photos of their dog, their travels, their respective families, and their drunken revelry faded in and out in an endless slideshow until suddenly Joe and Beth squealed. There (or so I was told), amidst the shots of Lucky chasing a ball and New Zealand sheep being sheep, was our hostess, scantily clad and taking a self-portrait in a bedroom mirror. It was a tasteful picture (or so I was told) and Joe planned to give her a hard time about it so that she could edit the slideshow and avoid future embarrassment. But I had missed the picture.

We went about our day giggling about the photo until a post-dinner lull found us looking for entertainment. We could have turned on the television. Or talked. Or gone for a walk in the cool Seattle summer. But I had missed the picture. So instead, we watched the slideshow.

For three hours.

Unfortunately, the photographs went from sexy and lovely to pornographic…still interspersed with adorable Irish Setter and international landscapes. It was a car wreck.

(It was also incredibly entertaining and quite possibly the best premise for a drinking game EVER.)

Had it been my friend, I would have put a stop to it. I really, really would have. But somehow I felt far less responsible for the carelessness of complete strangers. And so, as my penance for accidentallyonpurpose watching homemade porn (thankfully–OHMYGODSOTHANKFULLY–the slideshow only played still shots), I am sharing this story (all names changed, natch) so that you can be more careful.

Please, people, be more careful.

And yes, I hate myself a little now, too.



  1. WendyB said,

    Oh, you naughty girl.

  2. Jess said,

    NO NO NO NO NO. Any pornographic photo shoots should NOT be added to the folder that the screen saver draws from. Yikes!

  3. On weddings « Busty Satan said,

    […] attendee at her wedding specifically thanking them for their contribution to her life. And that beer and chocolate ceremony? Totally stealing […]

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