June 9, 2011 at 11:52 am (future, On dating and mating)

I have high hopes of being a DINK. At least for a bit. I’d say three or four years of DINKage would do the trick.

I want to have time with my partner, travel with him, be wild and irresponsible, spend our money on ourselves. Then, once there is no chance that we would ever feel bitter about the sacrifices we’ve made for them, we’d have a kid or two. (No more than two. NEVER any more than two; I am not a Duggard.) But in terms of having healthy children and healthy pregnancies, that’s not exactly the best idea. I’m 31; I would have to start now. Like right now…but I’d rather not. I’d like to have a normal, leisurely romance before my DINKage. Time to enjoy living in sin. Time to enjoy being engaged. Time to relish the word “husband” and all of the team-y, partner-ness, “I will prioritize us” permanence it implies. In what may go down as the most useless rage possible, I am pissed at biology. I feel like I’ve just become who I wanted to be. How I could have successfully raised kids before age 30* is impossible to fathom. And yet they tell us that we’re supposed to pop a few out before 35 or face scary statistics. It seems like the sand in my babymaking hourglass is piling up and yet I would still rather see the new Woody Allen film, split a bottle of wine, and spend Sunday in bed with my man. Unfair doesn’t begin to cover it.

*Personal statement, meaning about me, personally. I’m not saying having kids before 30 won’t/doesn’t/hasn’t worked for others.


  1. Bridget said,

    What makes this even sadder is that we feel the need to justify our choices and to tread carefully when discussing it around those who chose a different lifestyle. They don’t apologize to others for openly talking about their children or take extra care to avoid hurt feelings of those who choose to be DINKs. Nor should they have to and we shouldn’t either. It’s a wicked, obnoxious, 21st century double standard.

    Oh? And? Biology sucks.

  2. Amanda said,

    ” In what may go down as the most useless rage possible, I am pissed at biology.”

    Oh my gosh, me too. I’m 32, and just now getting married. Stupid statistics and crap. I *wish* I had more time to just be married after that, but I’m too scared of that number – 35 – to wait very long.

    Seriously, where did my 20s go?! I feel like there was all this wasted time.

    …I don’t even know if my body can make babies. But I can say that though I do want one (at least), I *think* I could handle it if I discovered that it could never happen for me. It would be sad, but I think once I got over it, that I could have a happy life as a DINK.

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